Based upon many, many years of research and observation, I have a theory to offer the scientific world: The size of jewelry worn about the face and neck is in direct proportion to the diminished mental capacity if the wearer because said metal and plastic ornamentation blocks the transmission of intelligent thought waves within the wearer's brain.
This is especially true with very large earrings.
The alternative theory is that large quantities of jewelry around the face and neck attract those random stupid thoughts that float in the universe having been released when brain surgery is done on people who have had the self-restraint not to act on them.
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